{"id":29,"date":"2026-09-07T23:01:28","date_gmt":"2026-09-07T15:01:28","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/dianxiwei.com\/?p=29"},"modified":"2026-09-10T21:39:01","modified_gmt":"2026-09-10T13:39:01","slug":"%e3%80%8a%e5%a5%b9%e7%ad%89%e4%ba%86%e6%88%91%e5%9b%9b%e5%8d%81%e5%b9%b4%e3%80%8b","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/dianxiwei.com\/en\/%e3%80%8a%e5%a5%b9%e7%ad%89%e4%ba%86%e6%88%91%e5%9b%9b%e5%8d%81%e5%b9%b4%e3%80%8b\/","title":{"rendered":"She Waited Forty Years for Me"},"content":{"rendered":"

For as long as I can remember, one question has stayed with me:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When a person gives up on a dream, what does it sound like?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Later, I learned the answer.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Nothing.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Dreams make no sound when they leave.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

No door closes. No one comes to tell you, From this day on, you are drifting farther and farther away from yourself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

What does remain is the occasional cry from somewhere deep within.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Sometimes, it is loud.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Sometimes, barely a whisper.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

But most of the time, we are too busy living\u2014too busy becoming the person others believe we are supposed to be\u2014that eventually, we learn to pretend we cannot hear it.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I was never blessed with extraordinary beauty, nor was I born into wealth.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

But over the years, life has not left me empty-handed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I had talents that others considered worthwhile. I received a good education. I built a career in the corporate world, became a manager, and accumulated many years of professional experience in human resources.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

For a long time, I used all of these things to tell myself:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You already have a good life. What more could you possibly want?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Until one day, I finally began peeling away, layer by layer, all the \u201crealities\u201d I had used to comfort myself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And I discovered that what frightened me most was not the thought that I had nothing.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It was this<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I had gained so much, yet I could no longer bring myself to face the girl inside me who once wrote poetry.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

She had never disappeared.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I had simply left her somewhere far behind. And she had been waiting there for me for many, many years.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So I decided to take the first step.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So I decided to take the first step.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Not because I had suddenly found the courage to begin again.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

But because I no longer wanted to live<\/p>\n\n\n\n

a life that looked good from the outside,\n\nwhile the person inside me grew quieter and quieter.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I want to go back and find her.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

To find the eight-year-old girl who began writing stories and believed that a single blank sheet of paper could hold an entire world.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

To find the girl who once wrote poetry. To find the person I once was.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This time,\n\nI will not make her wait any longer.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Dian Xiwei<\/p>\n\n\n\n

September 7, 2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"\"<\/figure>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

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